Sorry, folks.../ Quote of the year so far...

Yeah, it's been forEVER since I posted... and I know my "public" needs me! Ha!

Anyway, I am doing my best Rodney Dangerfield impression as I am Back to School after a nice 6-year hiatus. More on that later, though. While I won't do a Triple-Lindy, I do hope to grab a diploma in a year or two. So, instead of throwing my thoughts up here, I have been reading The Republic and a handful of essays on ethics.

More to come. Soon.

I'll leave you with this quote from NBA Guru Bill Walton. It's hard to take a Dead-Head seriously, but the man speaks the truth. (quote is from Walton's 1-21-05 chatroom appearance on ESPN.COM)

"[The Minnesota Timberwolves are] the biggest disappointment in the league. They've lost 11 of 15 and are proving once again that character does matter. Have you noticed Sprewell seems to wear out his welcome WHEREVER he goes?!! They always tell us that the enthusiasm and infectious ethic of the lead player is so important. KG is so positive ... why hasn't that been contageous throughout the rest of the team? In the end, the bad guys always getcha!"

Nice.

What Was In My Car

Kaada/Patton--Romances (2004)




I hated Romances the second I heard it--but I liked it after a half-hour, and I loved it after listening to it the third time. It's a thick, experimental album that demands patience and a second (or third, or fourth) chance to truly enjoy the listening experience.

Mike Patton (Faith No More, Mr. Bungle, Fantomas, Tomahawk, Lovage, Peeping Tom, etc...) either has the world's largest creative drive--or the worst case of A.D.D. Patton seems to always be involved with least three recording projects at a time--always with completely different bands, genres, and overall themes. This particular project teams Patton with John Erik Kaada--an experimental jazz/trance/techno musician-soundtrack composer (?... you try to put a label to it!) from Norway. The results are... interesting and addictive.

Mike Patton continues his recent "cinematic" music phase (as heard on Director's Cut and Delirium Cordia by Fantomas) where the CD seems to be more of a motion picture soundtrack than an actual album. Thankfully, Kaada's influence makes the listen a more soothing experience (although it still is a bit haunting) rather than the absolute horror that Delirium Cordia offered. So it could be said that if Delirium Cordia were a slasher film, Romances would be a psychological thriller.

Where Romances really shines is in its exploitation of tension and release. Right when you start to ask, "Where the hell is this song going?" after a long period of droning, pulsating, atmospheric music, the song suddenly turns into a wonderful hook that demands your full attention. The instant you become comfortable with the hook, Patton and Kaada strip it from you and return to background. It's an exercise of risk and reward... patience and payoff. The more you give, the more you get.

It should be said, though, that this is not a noise album. While it is experimental, it isn't so far gone that the songs lack structure, theme, or music. All the essential musical elements are there--just not at the pace we are used to. Where most bands may pause a few beats between song elements, Kaada and Patton pause a few minutes (but the pause actually adds to the song). When you have to wait longer for the payoff, the payoff is more appreciated (again, due to their brilliant exhibit of tension and release).

Musically, Kaada's jack-of-all-trades expertise is felt on the many, MANY instruments heard on this album, but it is the instrument of Patton's voice that keeps the ear attentive. Where Kaada can play anything, Patton can sing anything (or grunt, gurgle, croon, or whatever). It's a real treat to hear the two play off each other. Even during the "pauses" between ideas/moods, the instrumentation and voices are interesting enough to keep you from hitting "skip" on your CD player.

Song-wise, Kaada and Patton switch it up a bit from Vegas-crooning to a western-movie score to simple "la la la's"--all the while keeping it all wrapped up in a tight "spooky-romantic" theme. There are a few stand out songs (Pitie Pour Mes Larmes is my fave)... but you'll remember the album as a whole over the individual parts.

Should you run out and buy it? I dunno... depends on your patience and what kind of mood you're in.

Will I listen to it often? No, but when I am in the mood to listen to it, I will love it.

Rating: ****** outta 8

To listen to samples from their website: http://www.kaada.no/romances/
To view other Ipecac recordings (Patton's label): http://www.ipecac.com

More of the worst...

I saw this quote quoted on http://www.coxandforkum.com and I couldn't help pasting it here to show a few more people. It really shows the true nature of the so-called nature-loving environmentalists. They claim to be pro-environment, but I have always seen them more as anti-man (the species, not the sex). Anyway, this quote from James Wilcot (a contributor to Vanity Fair) epitomizes this theory:

I root for hurricanes. When, courtesy of the Weather Channel, I see one forming in the ocean off the coast of Africa, I find myself longing for it to become big and strong -- Mother Nature's fist of fury, Gaia's stern rebuke. Considering the havoc mankind has wreaked upon nature with deforesting, stripmining, and the destruction of animal habitat, it only seems fair that nature get some of its own back and teach us that there are forces greater than our own.

Nice. Be careful what you wish for.

Also, beware of the Greenpeacers today as they are screaming "Global Warming" as the cause of the Tsunami. Last time I checked, earthquakes aren't caused by man. Environmentalists have always walked hand and hand with the Junk Scientists... but this--in the wake of one of history's worst disasters--is disgusting.

Venting over. Positivity to follow... I promise.

Worst of 2004... as promised!

Alright, here's my list of random junk from 2004 that we'll call "The Worst."

Be sure to check out my BESTS below. Bests are better than worsts... in general. (that's why they are BESTS).

anyway...


Worst News-- The Tsunami. Really, I never thought a natural disaster could be so... Disastrous. To make the horror even harder to bear is the fact that the world has found a way to bash America for not helping enough. Sure, they rip us for sticking our noses into other countries' affairs on one hand--then they rip on us for not getting help over there fast enough on the other. Can't have it both ways, folks.

Worst Sports Moment-- TIE:

1) Detroit Pistons vs. Indiana Pacers... the brawl. Stupid fans, stupid Artest gave fuel to those who were already criticizing the NBA for glorifying the street thug image.

2) Red Sox win the Series. Yeah, that's just wrong. What's worse is that Doug Miengiathhjeaklz was able to get a ring for his few months on the bench. Way to go Dougie. Ride that pine into victory. Yanks in 2005.

Worst Election: No matter the outcome, Bush vs. Kerry was a choice between two evils. I didn't feel good about my choice between a religion-bound conservative or a flip-flopping socialist. Hmmmm. Is that the best we could come up with?

Worst wurst Target Center bratwurst, November 9th. Not hot enough.


Worst picture emailed to me (actually it was the best at the same time):


Yeah... that's just plain disturbing... but I can't stop looking at it!

Worst total disregard to "the rules"-- Lambeau Field's flying America's Flag at half-mast for Reggie White. C'mon... he's a FOOTBALL PLAYER!! Plus, the "rules" state that only the President or the Governor have the right to decree a half-mast flying of the flag. Put the flag back up, please, before you embarrass your city any more (if that were possible).

Worst defense-- Minnesota Vikings. How many yards would you like this play, sirs? 14? Okay... here ya go. I have grown too tired of watching this pathetic team to even root for their chances on making the playoffs. I am done with them until next year.

Worst concert performance-- Deicide. C'mon Glenn Benton... either retire or find some energy! I waited through a bunch of mediocre death metal opening bands (except Necromis) to see YOU... and you give me less than 45 minutes of that? Deicide epitomized "mailing it in" that night. Oh well, at least I got to see Necromis... plus I got to see the guy from Jungle Rot kick some fan in the head.

Alright, that's enough. I don't like concentrating on all this negativity. Have a safe and merry New Year.

How to Listen to RUSH with a Person Who Hates RUSH

It's hard to have RUSH as your favorite band. For one, it seems that no one can get past Geddy Lee's voice ("who is that chick and why is she screeching like that?" "I like their music, but man, I can't stand the singing") For two, their few mediocre songs (Tom Sawyer, Closer to the Heart) are the ones that actually get airplay... so the popular judgments are based on songs that don't really capture the true essence of Rush. This is sad since Rush--beyond the questionable taste in vocals--has recorded some of the best MUSIC over the past 30 years. Some stuff is just so interesting that it HAS to be shared with friends... but just try to put in a Rush CD with one of these people in your car. Not going to happen... unless...

Here's what you need:

-A computer with a CD Burner and burning software (use Nero's newest program with the NORMALIZING option--so all songs have the same volume).

-A Wave-Editing program. I use the one found here:
http://www.nch.com.au/wavepad/index.html

-The following RUSH CD's: 2112, A Farewell to Kings, Hemispheres, Permanent Waves, Moving Pictures, Roll the Bones, and Counterparts if you do not own these... what's wrong with you?

HERE'S WHAT YOU DO:

Grab your 2112, Farewell to Kings, and Hemispheres CD's. Each of these CD's contain signature, epic songs with instrumental overtures--meaning you can get a good 4 minute instrumental on your mix by cutting out the portions with singing. So, on 2112 cut out everything after "And the meek shall inherit the Earth." On Cygnus X-1, cut out everything after the final instrumental BUMP BUMP BUMP--right before it kicks into the portion with singing. It's easy to spot with the Wave Editor--just look for the major valleys next to the peaks. Do the same with Hemispheres. Save each file as MP-3's and you're ready to burn!

Open up your burning program and make this playlist:

1) 2112 (edit)
2) Cygnus X-1 (edit)
3) Cygnus X-1 pt. 2: Hemispheres (edit)
4) La Villa Strangiatto
5) Jacobs Ladder
6) YYZ
7) Where's My Thing?
8) Leave That Thing Alone!
9) Xanadu

Burn it and there! You have a Rush mix with very little singing. I listened to it today and I loved it. The first 4 songs sound great together... as if they were released all at the same time as one epic album. Jacobs Ladder provides a bridge to the 80's Rush that you either loved or hated. YYZ introduces some of the synth-based songs that they dabbled with during the 80's while Where's My Thing epitomizes that synth-sound with a nice groove. Leave That Thing Alone serves as a reminder that Rush eventually did ditch the synths for a more basic rock sound during the 90's. I put in Xanadu to end the mix since it is such a wonderful song (one of the best, actually)--but there is a lot of singing on it. Hopefully your road trip companion will be so into the Rush mix that he'll let it slide (if not, who cares--it's the last song)... and maybe he'll let you throw in Power Windows afterwards--but maybe that's pushing it.

My Dad... 10/29/50 -12/18/01

My dad fought his cancer with so much bravery and with so little complaining, it was easy to think that he would win the battle. Regardless if you call it hope or denial, I really thought that he would be okay for the first year of the battle--despite how rare and nasty his sarcoma was. Besides, I was only in my 20's... I couldn't lose my dad yet!

Anyway, I took my dad out in the bass boat late one summer. We were done fishing, so I headed the boat back to the boat launch. My dad stopped me and asked if I would take one last lap around the lake. This was the first time I realized that even my dad knew his cancer would end up winning the fight.

I ended up giving my dad his last rides in the boat and in his Corvette... but I take "one more ride" with him each time I pass the lakes or the roads we cruised.

For more info on Sarcoma: http://www.reininsarcoma.org/SarcomaInfo2003Detail.html

BEST OF 2004

Here's MY list of the best junk that I enjoyed this year. Be sure to comment on your fav's... epecially if you disagree. WORST of 2004 soon to follow!

• BEST CD--Has Been-- William Shatner

Hell no, it's not just a novelty! With Ben Folds serving as music director, the expected campiness of Transformed Man is replaced by a real, legitimate project. Shatner delivers every line with absolute sincerity over Fold's jazz/lounge piano scores. It's a real treat--and should not be overlooked because of the well-deserved cheezy reputation of Shatner. There's real good music here, people! Lyrically, Has Been is punchy, funny, sad, introspective, and tongue-in-cheek all at once. Buy it now.

CLOSE SECOND: Blood Duster--Blood Duster

runners-up-- The System Has Failed--Megadeth, Cool To Be You--Descendents, Romances--Patton and Kaada, Musicology--Prince, BURNSCAR--Necromis

• BEST MUSICAL COMEBACK-- MEGADETH

Waaayyy back in the day, Dave Mustaine was my guitar hero. I had posters all over my wall to prove it. Then Countdown to Extinction happened.... and what a piece of crap that was. I still listened to the old stuff, but Megadeth has been dead (or is it "ded?") to me for a decade. I sampled the 2004 release, The System Has Failed, on a MP3 website and I was impressed enough to give Dave Mustaine another $15 of my hard earned money. Bringing old-schooler guitarist Chris Polland back to the band was the first indication that Dave wanted to start fresh and return to the thrash-metal that was sooo good back in the day. It's a solid CD that is much appreciated in this era of Nu-Metal. Go Dave! I knew you still had it in ya!

runners-up--Descendents, Prince

• BEST SPORTS MOMENT-- KG proves his MVP-ness

Yeah, I am a biased homer Minnesotan, but hey... KG is the man--he has been for years. Finally, he is recognized nationally as the BEST NBA player on Earth. Duncan, O'Neal, and Bryant are all solid, but NO ONE puts out the daily effort like KG.... and it was wonderful seeing Garnett raise that trophy. It should also be noted that it would be a waste of the MVP award if the Wolves were another one-and-done playoff team. KG's clutch performances against Denver and Sacramento helped the Wolves finally get the first round curse off their backs.

runners-up-- Tracy McGrady gets 13 pts. in 35 seconds, Lance Armstrong wins another Tour, I guess I have to mention the Red Sox winning the world series... but I hate the Red Sox... so forget it!

• BEST DESSERT-- Crepe at Beaumond (in Philly)

mmmmmmm! Beaumond specializes in crepes--for an entree or dessert--but I only had the opportunity to eat the dessert. Let me tell you... wow.... they are spectacular! You can choose from a TON of toppings to drizzle all over the perfectly-made crepe. I chose the hazelnut/Nutella/banana combo. Best... dessert... ever!

Runners-up-- Pies at Thanksgiving (graham cracker, pecan, pumpkin, apple)

• BEST FOOD MOMENT-- My first Philly Cheese Steak

To complete my Philadelphia vacation, it was mandatory to consume at least one authentic Cheese Steak. Our local friends decided to take us to JOHN'S restaurant (you can comment below to support your local favorite, but we decided to eat at John's for their nice outdoor dining. It seems to be a heated argument on whose cheese steak is the best, but John's was pretty damn good). Anyway, I have been enjoying cheese steaks in Minnesota for quite a while--but getting one in Philly was soooo rewarding. It's like looking at a print of the Mona Lisa all your life--then finally going to France to see it in person.

runners-up-- Stillwater gets a WHITE CASTLE, eating old-school crispy chips 'n' salsa at a Colorado Chili's (Minnesota Chili's have changed their chips), Stillwater gets a Chipotle.

• BEST MOVIE I SAW IN THE THEATER-- Harry Potter III

Harry Potter III was a decent movie. BUT, it was the ONLY movie I saw in the theater this year, so CONGRATS, Harry!

• BEST MOVIE TRAILER-- Revenge of the Sith

duh.

• BEST OF 2004 that didn't come out in 2004, but I discovered 'em this year...

BOOK: Ghost Rider--Neil Peart

Great book, especially if you have dealt with a loss of a friend or family. Also read The Masked Rider by Peart.

BAND: Moist Boyz

My favorite discovery of the year, but they are a few years old now. Great classic rock meets thrash meets southern twang. Wonderful if you're into this stuff.

BRUNCH: Yarusso's

I am a 3rd generation Yarusso's patron (my grandparents dined there when they were kids), so I am quite familiar with their wonderful home-cookin' Italian menu... but this was the first year that I was able to enjoy their brunch. Yummy Italian food, great variety, good price. If you are in the St. Paul, MN area, check out Yarusso's and eat some Pasta Supreme or the Hot Dago Supreme. Go. Now.

This pisses me off...

Marcel Duchamp's "Fountain" (1917) was recently declared the most influential work of modern art according to a Gordon's Gin survey. Uh... yeah. I can see that.

"Fountain" is influential because it helped start the anything-goes definition of art. Today's art museums will display anything--a shapeless swirl of colors, a slab of uncut stone, random geometric shapes on canvas, or apparently--a urinal. A modern definition of art is, well, whatever the artist's whim decides. What is most dangerous, though, is that the modernists who are taken the most seriously today are actually producing anti-art--or art that is destructive to art itself. Observe that Duchamp could have chosen any household item to exhibit his art-is-what-I-say-it-is movement--but he chose a urinal. If Duchamp's intention was truly as benevolent as he claimed--to show that art can be found in everyday objects--why not display an everyday object that is beautiful? The choice of a urinal shows the true nature behind Duchamp's statement. A urinal is disgusting, offensive. To choose a urinal was the equivalent of a middle finger saying, "F-you, art, display this."

It is one thing to convey a dream-like quality like a surrealist, or to experiment with shapes like an abstract artist, but Duchamp not only blurred the essential artistic elements--he removed them with destructive intent... and thus we have Dada. Dada is defined by Webster as "a movement in art and literature based on deliberate irrationality and negation of traditional artistic values." Sounds accurate to me, but the definition doesn't capture the evil behind the movement.

Dadaism goes well beyond showing contempt for art--it shows contempt for the rational mind. Art is man's way of bringing abstractions into reality. We can easily deal with the concept of "chair" because it can be shown. I can also show non-concrete concepts such as "tall" and "transparent" by pointing to a tree and a pane of glass. How would I show the abstract concepts of "beauty," "resilience," "pride," or "happiness?" I would do it with art. I cannot point to "heroic," but I can point to Michelangelo's David. I can't show you "tension" and "suspense," but I can play you John Williams' theme from Jaws. I may find it hard to cope with a sudden sadness, but watching Steel Magnolias might help.

What does Dadaism offer to the rational mind? If art offers man the ability to see a physical representation of previously invisible concept--what would anti-art offer? If art is essential for man's understanding/coping/enjoyment of reality--what good can come from an "art" purposely devoid of the artistic elements? The answer is nothing (that's what nihilism offers us... nothing).

Sure, "Fountain" served a purpose--and I say that we help it fully reach its potential. Let's plumb the thing and use it for what it's best suited to be. I'll be first in line to use it.

a nice gallery of good art I found online

What was in my car

NECROMIS--Burnscar (2004)

Necromis is a Minneapolis-based death metal band that has been on and off the scene over the past 13 years... but they are back with a nifty CD to prove that they will be sticking around for a while. (Check out the link to the right for their website/ordering info)

I enjoy death metal, but the scene is plagued with corny lyrics, monotonous growling, boring all-sounds-the-same songwriting, and a whole bunch of Deicide wanna-be's that can't form an original thought or song. Therefore, I love the best of the genre--but 98% of it bores me to death.

Necromis avoids this by changing stuff up... a LOT. They catch a groove, they grind, they ride a bottom-heavy "chunk-ka-kunk" riff only to catch you off guard with a clean, melodic hook. It's as if Necromis hand-picked the absolute best attributes of the entire genre and combined them all into a melting-pot of an album. You can hear hints (but never rip-offs) of Morbid Angel, Opeth, Deicide, Carcass, with just a tad of Slayer just to keep true to the old-school.

There are no throw-aways (there better not be with only 6 songs!) on the album as each song stands out as its own entity. Burnscar offers an aggressive title track, a slow groove of "Filth Of This World," an epic 7+ minute "Unearthed," while "Stand and Die," "Phantom," and "Look At You" stand on their own as well-written and interesting.

Lyrically--well, I never have paid attention to a single lyric out of this genre (probably for my own good)--but Greg Chilton's vocals are tough and aggressive without ever resorting to the cheesy coughing grunts that seems to be the cliche lately. There are welcomed "harmonized" high/low screams here and there to emphasize a phrase while a soft-spoken whisper is sometimes heard to switch it up a bit.

Musically, the skill is top-notch--epecially for a bunch of local boys. The twin guitars of Jason Notebaart and Dan Lerach complement each other nicely. Right when a section gets a bit bottom-heavy, they come up for air with a quick harmonized lead and dive back down. Lerach's few solos are melodic, articulate ideas that never default to the whammy-bar mess that is the death-metal standard. It is nice that Necromis offers the guitar-worshiping listener a few solos, but never enough to become a boring guitar-god showcase. Aaron Davis' bass rides the bottom background, but often rises to the forefront right when you need him to complete a phrase. Tony Olson's drums provide anything the song needs: rapid double-bass, grinding snare, plodding grooves, and even a quick solo found in the title track. Olson plays with precision and skill, but adds originality and creativity to set himself apart from his peers... which could be said for Necromis as a whole.

Rating: ******* outta 8

Defending Wally... ewwww...

I never liked Wally Szczerbiak. Whenever a pass comes his way, he'll either shoot (good) or dribble heads-down into traffic, bouncing the ball off his foot and into his defender's hand (bad). But he won't pass...

Then there's his defense. It's been better as of late, but still--one play is cemented into my memory and I can't shake it: It's the playoffs vs. the Dallas Mavericks. Wolves are down, but making a push. They need one more stop. Maverick ZsuZsu Wang has the ball well beyond the 3-point line. Wally leaves his man, Michael "I-am-so-friggin-clutch-I-can't-miss-a-shot-all-quarter" Finley to double Wang (again... behind the 3-pt. line). Wang makes the pass to the wide-open Finley for a swish 3 pointer. ARRRGGHHH!!! WALLY!!! DON'T LEAVE FINLEY FOR WANG!!!

Plus, his Minneapolis townhouse is infested by Gabberts furniture. Ewww....

Anyway, in case you haven't noticed, the Wolves are in a serious funk right now. They barely squeeked by the Mavericks sans-Nowitzki, they were embarrassed at home by the Sonics, and they lost to the Pacers. Yes, the same Pacers that lost all their star players to the riot suspensions. This funk could possibly be cured if Flip would give (and it pains me to write this) Wally more plays, more minutes, and more shots (ewwwww.....).

Here's my hypothesis:

Wally is a shooter--a great shooter. Problem is, the Wolves also have Spree, Hoiberg, and Hassel, so Flip tends to bench Wally the second he misses a couple shots to see if his other options have a hotter hand. If Flip didn't have such a deep bench, Wally would be given a chance to miss a few more shots to find his spot. As a result of this quick hook, Wally may be shooting with the thought of "I better make this or else I will be benched" instead of purely shooting. Observe how well the team clicked last year when so many players were injured. Flip had no choice but to ride out his shooters.

I suggest that Flip lets Wally shoot... and shoot... and shoot (of course, only when KG is covered). If he misses a few, let him shoot some more.

The Wolves have a deep, deep bench, but it's killing them. Every good basketball team needs to have a well-defined pecking order so players know their roles. Every player needs to know what to expect to play each night, otherwise he'll be playing with one eye on the floor and one eye at the bench--waiting to see if he'll get the hook for a mistake or an airball.

Now, there's the issue of the starting lineup. I think Trenton Hassel is a must-start. His shut-down defense is critical to keep the opponent's go-to guy from getting a hot start. BUT, I also think Wally is a must-start. His presence behind the 3-point line is essential to a good inside-out game with KG. This means that Spree would have to be benched... and I am ALL FOR IT. Spree would be great off the bench, but I know that his ego would be crushed and Flip would never pull him off the starting lineup. Plus, Spree's 6 point games aren't really helping much. Oh well.

Anyhoo, I am tired of my Wolfies and their slump. I watch Troy and Sam shake off an open Wally and throw up a prayer over a double team (due to the lack of confidence in the shooter). I see Flip bench each shooter before they find a rhythm (due to the overly talented options). I see our MVP pass to a wide open shooter only to see the ball rattle off the rim (due to the shooter being cold). I see a shooter pass up a wide open shot (due to knowing that he'll never see the ball again if he misses). Stop the madness now and give Wally his minutes (did I just write that? Ewwww.)

Excuse me now while I bathe.