Summer Music Vol. 2

Another beautiful day in Minnesota… another perfect summertime CD. YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE????



GUNS 'N' ROSES- APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION
1987

The song is Paradise City. Enough said. It may be because the video was filmed during a summertime rock festival—or perhaps it was Axl Rose’s white suit—or maybe it’s ‘cause the song just plain RAWKS—whatever reason, this is my #1 summertime song. It’s a wonderful mixture of Foghat/Skynyrd classic rocking with a dingy late-80’s L.A. attitude. The lyrics are sung so nasty, the rhythm is so gritty, and the solos are so intense. Paradise City will forever be upon every “summertime mix” that I compile—but the rest of the CD is awesome too.

Start at the beginning. Welcome to the Jungle, yo. It’s been almost 20 years since it’s been written, but the song still serves as an incredible intro to a rockin’ time (note that the NFL still uses it for kickoffs—and it is not even close to being tired). Follow that with classics such as Mr. Brownstone, Night Train, Anything Goes, Rocket Queen… screw it—EVERY song is a classic.

Now, the other single, Sweet Child of Mine, is perfection in the way it’s pretty enough for the girls and rockin’ enough for the guys. Axl sounds sweet and nasty at the same time. Slash switches from a bluesy-sweet melody to a fuzzed-wha solo that builds and builds to a great climax. It’s no power ballad…

Guns ‘n’ Roses is in top form here--pretty rare for a debut album. Slash’s manipulation of blues and pentatonic scales are masterful as Izzy Stradlin' adds the perfect compliment on rhythm guitar. The bass and drums are solid while Axl Rose’s bipolar high-pitched shrieking vs. bottom-dwelling crooning serves as great frontmanship. Too bad it didn’t last. If you notice the songs' themes of drugs, booze, burning out, and getting all that you want—you can tell that the band was going to fizzle out fast. Usually songs about excess and burning out on drugs come after a band hits it big. Guns ‘n’ Roses started out living fast—so the fact that Appetite for Destruction was their only good album is not much of a surprise.

With that said, Appetite for Destruction will always remain in my top 5 best albums EVER list. With no “throw away” songs, with a unique mix of classic rock and modern attitude (with a hint of glam), with the absolute genius of Slash’s guitar, Appetite is an instant classic. The fact that Paradise City and other festival-esque songs fill each side of the cassette (okay… it’s a CD nowadays) makes it the ultimate summertime album.

Summer Music Vol. 1

Alright kids! It's springtime in Minnesota, you know what that means! Dust off those CD's designated for driving around with the windows down on sunny summer days! Some CD's truely capture the essence of summer--and my installments of Summer Music will celebrate these disks--after I get done listening to them in my car, of course.


Metallica-Kill 'Em All (1983)

Let's get something out right away--I do NOT like Metallica... nope, not one bit. As far as I am concerned, Metallica is the single most overrated metal band in existence. With that said, Kill 'Em All is oh, so good.

As I was learning guitar way back in the day (early 90's), I was in need of a guitar hero. After a long search across the Satrianis, Vais, Hammetts, Skolnicks, and Slashes, I heard Rust In Peace by Megadeth. So used to the chuck-ka-kunk chord-laiden riff-heavy songs of Metallica, the flurry of single-noted riffs and solos made the posters of Dave Mustaine permanent fixtures on my bedroom walls.

Now, understand that one cannot be a true fan of Metallica and Megadeth at the same time. It's like the Red Sox and the Yankees or Kobe and Shaq--you just can't like 'em both. It's been written. I was a Mustaine/Megadeth fan, so by law I had to be anti-Metallica. (please keep in mind that this was prior to the ultra-cruddy Countdown to Extinction which later forced me to rip down the aforementioned Mustaine posters)

But I digress....

Megadeth's Dave Mustaine, as many of you know, was a contributing member of Metallica way back in the day--right up until they were ready to record this album. Mustaine was outed, and (the hack) Kirk Hammett joined the band in time for the recording. As a result, Mustaine's presence can still be heard in Kill 'Em All (especially since Hammett shamelessly ripped off Mustaine's solos). So it's more of a Metalli-gadeth CD than a true Metallica CD (therefore, I am allowed to like it).

So... back to summer! The attitude of this CD (back in the day, it was a cassette) is summer epitomized. The recording is cruddy--but cool--almost punk-rock. The tempo throughout is fast and unrelenting. The musicianship is tight--but raw enough to be fun and garage-esque. Lyrically, it stinks! But it's fun! C'mon... 4 Horsemen? Getting Whiplash from headbanging? "No Life 'Till Leather?" What the? Yeah! This is a band on the verge of making their mark on the music scene and setting the bar oh, so high (maybe so high that they'd never top it... but many Metallica fans would disagree with me).

Now for a word on Cliff Burton, the Best. Metal. Bassist. Ever. With this CD alone, Burton shows the scene that a metal bassist doesn't have to settle for riding the roots of the guitarists' power chords. No! He can ride the forefront with interesting melodic twists of the song's theme. For some reason Burton's idea never took off, as metal bassists have always been and continue to be boring afterthoughts. Kill 'Em All is a reminder of what Burton left behind after dying a few years later. (Metallica would never, ever, write another good song without him).

All in all, Kill 'Em All is fast, fun, and Metal! Yes, note the "with a capital 'M'." Roll down your windows, crank it up, pump your fists, and let it take you back to a time when metal--and Metallica--were actually good. SUMMER... HERE I COME!

Rating ******* outta 8.

NERD ALERT!

FYI... the newest Episode III trailer is available at starwars.com



and let me tell you..... huhuhuhuhuhuh.... wow.

May 19th, boys and girls... not that I am getting my hopes up or anything (considering the lackluster Episodes I and II, plus Howard the Duck always will haunt my memory).

Doctor Tony to the ER, Doctor Tony to the ER...

You’ve seen the clichéd scene in a zillion medical dramas: the doctor has an emotional attachment to his dying patient. After the patient flatlines, the doc orders the defibulators… and:

“Clear!”… beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. “Clear!!” ….. Beeeeeep! “Clear!” ….. Beeeeeeep.

“Doctor, it’s over!”

“Clear!” …. Beeeeeeeep.

“Doctor!”

“Clear!….. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.”

“Doctor… let go. It’s OVER! We lost him!”

“Clear!….. Beeeeeep!”

“Doctor!”

Well, I am the doctor, and my Wolfies are the patient. I need some nurse to tell me it’s over. I have the defibulator paddles in hand, but I need someone to slap my face and tell me to let go. After yesterday’s loss to the Mav’s—considering the Nuggets’ recent surge—beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Midtermmmmms.

Me writnig midterms. 4 big papers due all at once. Wuz sick with flu last week. now tired and have lots to do at last minute.... Tony want sleepy. Tony want sleepy...

(just an FYI as to my why my site hasn't been updated...)

THE CURRENT

Way back in the day, I loved to listen to 104 FM for their wonderfully selected “alt” music. They went under due to a format change to smooth jazz or something. “REV” 105 sprung up soon afterwards—providing me with a fresh, fun, interesting playlist that was NEVER THE SAME (i.e.: not formatted). Like all good things, the REV came to an end and I switched over to talk radio or my own CD mixes for my in-car listening.

I heard from a classmate of mine that a new REV was on the air in the Twin Cities—complete with the same REV 105 DJ’s that I used to enjoy 10 years ago. It’s called “The Current” and it’s on 89.3 FM.

After class, I removed my General Patton vs. the X-ecutioners CD (see review below) from my CD player and turned my radio to FM (something I haven’t done in YEARS) to give The Current a shot. I was given a good 3-song mix of musicians I haven’t heard of, but I wish I had—as they were neat songs that I actually enjoyed. Granted, the next couple songs were crappy folk songs—but all in all, I was digging this FM radio station!

Then it happened. The DJ did his best PBS telethon impression and begged me for money. Wha? Turns out that The Current is a part of Minnesota Public Radio. Ewwwwwwwwww! What, you realize that your music is too obscure to sell advertising—so you give up and start begging? I went back to my CD.

Before cable, I really enjoyed PBS. I loved the documentaries on bugs, rainforests, and volcanoes. But after cable became more available, I realized (and the smart programmers realized) that Discovery Channels, Animal Channels, Bravo, etc. could exist, create a niche, AND sell advertising BECAUSE of the specialized niche that this channel created. (This is when I stopped watching PBS.) It’s advertising 101 here, folks. This is why magazines can exist for super-specialized topics. Basket Weaver Enthusiast Magazine can thrive because all the suppliers of wicker know exactly where to put their advertising money. Why can’t radio do the same? Sell your space to the alt-crowd. Sell ads to the Electric Fetus, PETA, local clubs, Ragstock, women’s razors, whatever. Well, maybe not women’s razors… the alt crowd isn’t known for its hygiene. If the ads don’t sell, move to satellite radio! Find a niche there!

So, I looked at the financial reports of MPR (they don’t divulge much, though). Our government “only” provides 11% of MPR’s budget. 11% of what? I don’t know, the website didn’t say, but it is a $10 million radio station. That’s not the point, though. Government funding for radio should be 0%--and until The Current is 100% donation/advertising funded, I won’t listen. Oh well. Back to my CD mixes and AM radio. At least I can guarantee that Ani DiFranco will never show up on those.

Wolfies Alien-ated for the rest of the season...

thanks to my friend Mike for the pic!

So, there goes the trade deadline... the Wolfies are apparently happy with Spree, Sam, and T-Hud to lead the team to the promised land. Alright guys, let's see whatcha got. Not much, I suppose, as I see that they lost to the L.A. CLIPPERS last night. "Owwwwcccchhhhh..."

Got Answers?

My wife called me up today with the all-important information, "I just drank milk today." This is actually news, you see, as we aren't a milk-drinking family. Turns out she purchased something called "2% reduced fat" milk, which begged the question:

If you reduce the fat of 2% milk, isn't that 1%?

So, being the dork that I am, I did some research.



Turns out that way back in 1998, the FDA made milk companies follow the same packaging guidelines as all other food products. So from then on (according to the FDA's website) :

2 percent milk will become known, for example, as "reduced fat" or "less fat" instead of "low fat"
1 percent milk will remain "low fat" or become, for example, "little fat"
skim will retain its name or be called, for example, fat-free, zero-fat, or no-fat milk.

So the confusion started because the "reduced" in "2% reduced fat" refers to milk qua milk--not 2% in itself. Hmmmm. So the fattest milk you can get (besides whole milk) is now called "reduced fat?" Confusing, huh.

Also notice that 1% is now "low fat" and skim is now "fat free."

Now the question is: WHY? Is the FDA that bored? Just a thought for the day.

Bonds--The Great Philosopher?

My apologies to those who haven't read Plato or who didn't see the Barry Bonds press conference yesterday. If you want to see the actual transcript (you can't make it up!) : http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=1997605


Barry Bonds or Plato... who is the greater Philosophical mind?

Man, what a great show Barry Bonds gave the sports world yesterday afternoon. Not since Bill Clinton have I heard a more slippery press conference. It's amazing how this athlete could turn direct questions about steroids and cheating in baseball into an upper-level philosophy of language college course. The press conference was almost surreal... it read just like one of Plato's dialogs:

Pressimicus: Barry, did you use steroids?

Bondscrates: Use? How do you mean, use?

P: I don't follow, please enlighten me, Bondscrates.

B: Would you say that an archer uses his arm or his arrow?

P: Naturally, he uses his arrow.

B: Would it follow, then, that a fisherman uses his rod and not his wrist?

P: Surely.

B: So then, it can be concluded that I use my bat and not steroids, correct?

P: Yes. I suppose so.

B: Would you say, then, that I use steroids, Pressimicus?

P: Heavens, no! You merely use your bat.

B: Any other questions?

Pressicles: Bondscrates, would injecting yourself with a performance enhancing substance be considered cheating?

B: Cheating? What is cheating?

P: I don't follow.

B: Is it cheating for a shoemaker to use a hammer instead of his bare hands?

P: Of course not.

B: Is it cheating for a horseman to use a saddle rather than to ride bareback?

P: No.

B: Is it cheating then, for a batsman to use a tool to augment his bat?

P: It follows that it is certainly not cheating to do so, wise Bondscrates.

B: Would you call performance enhancing substances a tool?

P: Yes.

B: So it would follow, then, my dear Pressicles, that it is not cheating to use performance enhancing substances to augment my batting.

P: You are as wise as you are beefy, my dear Bondscrates!

B: Any other inquiries from my audience?

Pressistotle: Are you going to beat the Babe's record?

B: Let me ask you this: Am I a black man?

P: Wha? Where did that come from?

AND SO FORTH....

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!

DO IT NOW! PLEASE!

Just as long as we don't get rid of too much... (Wally must stay! Did I just write that??) But Cassell really needs to go (under McHale, I am scared to see what happens when Sammy replaces Carter). If Sammy turns his attitude around like Spree proved possible, who knows, maybe a trade isn't necessary.


Also: Let it be known that it looks like McHale has turned the team around (for now, at least). BUT it still sucks that professionals stopped listening to a great coach. Good luck to Flip. Good luck to the Kevins. Hopefully Spree has "figured it out." Hopefully Kandi can keep it up. Feels good so far... but it's only a couple games.