RIP Johnny Carson

Just wanted to give my goodbye to Johnny Carson. At 29 years, I am old enough to remember watching him, but young enough to remember what a treat it was being able to stay up late enough to watch him. The funny moments were even funnier to a kid staying up way past his bedtime!

What Was In My Car....

MASTODON- LEVIATHAN (2004)

Very, very few metal albums are true "winners" for me on the first listen. Usually it takes a few times through to remember the catches, anticipate the changes, and to find the grooves. I had Mastodon in the car for the first time on the way to work this morning and I can't wait for the ride home's second listen. It is really... REALLY good.

First of all, check out the album cover. Nuthin' cooler than a big Moby Dick smashing a big ol' boat. Yeah!

More importantly, the music is aggressive, tight, and wonderfully interesting. I thought of it as Hemispheres/Farewell to Kings-era Rush done in a modern metal-style. Like Rush, Mastodon features a thematic album with epic songs that weave melody, pounding rhythms with changing tempos and time signatures (only Mastodon does it with an extreme-metal edge). Each song features insanely complex drumming, guitars that switch from textural runs to percussive chords, and solid bass. The singing is the genre's typical growling, but a couple songs feature a lighter, more melodic attack.

Moments are harsh or brutal--others catch a fantastic groove. Mastodon takes the listener through extreme changes in tone, mood, and tempo without warning--but not without meaning or structure. Unlike genre-sharers The Dillinger Escape Plan, Mastadon's quirkiness never seems random.

If Rush were the prog-rock kings of the 70's, Mastodon may be crowned prog-metal kings of today if subsequent releases live up to the potential set by Leviathan.

(early) Rating: ******* outta 8.

ALSO IN MY CAR THIS WEEKEND:


Church of Misery-- Master of Brutality (2001)

Church of Misery can be labeled as Doom Metal or Stoner Metal, but I prefer to label them as Groove Metal (mostly because I don't want to be associated with Stoners or the Doomed). Yeah, the pace is very slow and the low-toned, fuzzed guitar and bass slog about like the typical Doomed/Stoned Metalers--BUT these guys seem to have a genuine enthusiasm hidden behind their murky music. I would describe Church of Misery as Black Sabbath tuned down, turned up, overdriven, and crossed with the grooviest Skynyrd riffs that you could emulate. It's low, loud, and it rawks. It could also be said that Church of Misery is the best Doom Metal band to ever come out of Japan (although, I dare you to name any outta Japan!).

Master of Brutality, unfortunately, has a different serial killer as the theme of each song (except for the cover of Blue Oyster Cult's Cities on Flame With Rock 'N' Roll). Thankfully (this can serve as my sweeping statement about all metal) the screaming vocals hide the lyrics. I never noticed the subject until I saw the song titles.

Overall, the musicianship is solid, yet unpolished (to be too polished would ruin the mood!) The guitars are soooo raw, fuzzy, and overdriven--it's just a blast to hear every riff crush and crunch against the cymbal-happy, solid drumming. Also, let me say that a bass through a fuzzed amp and a wah-pedal gives one of the best sounds heard on Earth.

With only 6 songs, Master of Brutality could be an EP, but the songs range from 4 to 11 minutes in length--so it's not short at all. It should also be said that after 6 songs, I was ready for it to be over. Too much of the same thing--no matter how awesome--gets old. These guys are slow, loud, and groovy--and so proud of this that they don't change from song to song (not that they should). I did find myself wandering in and out of interest during the slower songs, but my ADD only lasted a few minutes as a new groove here or there sparked new interest.

Church of Misery is an excellent addition to any car trip soundtrack as it welcomes many steering-wheel drum fills and stick-shift guitar picking.

Rating: ****** outta 8.

Sorry, folks.../ Quote of the year so far...

Yeah, it's been forEVER since I posted... and I know my "public" needs me! Ha!

Anyway, I am doing my best Rodney Dangerfield impression as I am Back to School after a nice 6-year hiatus. More on that later, though. While I won't do a Triple-Lindy, I do hope to grab a diploma in a year or two. So, instead of throwing my thoughts up here, I have been reading The Republic and a handful of essays on ethics.

More to come. Soon.

I'll leave you with this quote from NBA Guru Bill Walton. It's hard to take a Dead-Head seriously, but the man speaks the truth. (quote is from Walton's 1-21-05 chatroom appearance on ESPN.COM)

"[The Minnesota Timberwolves are] the biggest disappointment in the league. They've lost 11 of 15 and are proving once again that character does matter. Have you noticed Sprewell seems to wear out his welcome WHEREVER he goes?!! They always tell us that the enthusiasm and infectious ethic of the lead player is so important. KG is so positive ... why hasn't that been contageous throughout the rest of the team? In the end, the bad guys always getcha!"

Nice.

What Was In My Car

Kaada/Patton--Romances (2004)




I hated Romances the second I heard it--but I liked it after a half-hour, and I loved it after listening to it the third time. It's a thick, experimental album that demands patience and a second (or third, or fourth) chance to truly enjoy the listening experience.

Mike Patton (Faith No More, Mr. Bungle, Fantomas, Tomahawk, Lovage, Peeping Tom, etc...) either has the world's largest creative drive--or the worst case of A.D.D. Patton seems to always be involved with least three recording projects at a time--always with completely different bands, genres, and overall themes. This particular project teams Patton with John Erik Kaada--an experimental jazz/trance/techno musician-soundtrack composer (?... you try to put a label to it!) from Norway. The results are... interesting and addictive.

Mike Patton continues his recent "cinematic" music phase (as heard on Director's Cut and Delirium Cordia by Fantomas) where the CD seems to be more of a motion picture soundtrack than an actual album. Thankfully, Kaada's influence makes the listen a more soothing experience (although it still is a bit haunting) rather than the absolute horror that Delirium Cordia offered. So it could be said that if Delirium Cordia were a slasher film, Romances would be a psychological thriller.

Where Romances really shines is in its exploitation of tension and release. Right when you start to ask, "Where the hell is this song going?" after a long period of droning, pulsating, atmospheric music, the song suddenly turns into a wonderful hook that demands your full attention. The instant you become comfortable with the hook, Patton and Kaada strip it from you and return to background. It's an exercise of risk and reward... patience and payoff. The more you give, the more you get.

It should be said, though, that this is not a noise album. While it is experimental, it isn't so far gone that the songs lack structure, theme, or music. All the essential musical elements are there--just not at the pace we are used to. Where most bands may pause a few beats between song elements, Kaada and Patton pause a few minutes (but the pause actually adds to the song). When you have to wait longer for the payoff, the payoff is more appreciated (again, due to their brilliant exhibit of tension and release).

Musically, Kaada's jack-of-all-trades expertise is felt on the many, MANY instruments heard on this album, but it is the instrument of Patton's voice that keeps the ear attentive. Where Kaada can play anything, Patton can sing anything (or grunt, gurgle, croon, or whatever). It's a real treat to hear the two play off each other. Even during the "pauses" between ideas/moods, the instrumentation and voices are interesting enough to keep you from hitting "skip" on your CD player.

Song-wise, Kaada and Patton switch it up a bit from Vegas-crooning to a western-movie score to simple "la la la's"--all the while keeping it all wrapped up in a tight "spooky-romantic" theme. There are a few stand out songs (Pitie Pour Mes Larmes is my fave)... but you'll remember the album as a whole over the individual parts.

Should you run out and buy it? I dunno... depends on your patience and what kind of mood you're in.

Will I listen to it often? No, but when I am in the mood to listen to it, I will love it.

Rating: ****** outta 8

To listen to samples from their website: http://www.kaada.no/romances/
To view other Ipecac recordings (Patton's label): http://www.ipecac.com

More of the worst...

I saw this quote quoted on http://www.coxandforkum.com and I couldn't help pasting it here to show a few more people. It really shows the true nature of the so-called nature-loving environmentalists. They claim to be pro-environment, but I have always seen them more as anti-man (the species, not the sex). Anyway, this quote from James Wilcot (a contributor to Vanity Fair) epitomizes this theory:

I root for hurricanes. When, courtesy of the Weather Channel, I see one forming in the ocean off the coast of Africa, I find myself longing for it to become big and strong -- Mother Nature's fist of fury, Gaia's stern rebuke. Considering the havoc mankind has wreaked upon nature with deforesting, stripmining, and the destruction of animal habitat, it only seems fair that nature get some of its own back and teach us that there are forces greater than our own.

Nice. Be careful what you wish for.

Also, beware of the Greenpeacers today as they are screaming "Global Warming" as the cause of the Tsunami. Last time I checked, earthquakes aren't caused by man. Environmentalists have always walked hand and hand with the Junk Scientists... but this--in the wake of one of history's worst disasters--is disgusting.

Venting over. Positivity to follow... I promise.

Worst of 2004... as promised!

Alright, here's my list of random junk from 2004 that we'll call "The Worst."

Be sure to check out my BESTS below. Bests are better than worsts... in general. (that's why they are BESTS).

anyway...


Worst News-- The Tsunami. Really, I never thought a natural disaster could be so... Disastrous. To make the horror even harder to bear is the fact that the world has found a way to bash America for not helping enough. Sure, they rip us for sticking our noses into other countries' affairs on one hand--then they rip on us for not getting help over there fast enough on the other. Can't have it both ways, folks.

Worst Sports Moment-- TIE:

1) Detroit Pistons vs. Indiana Pacers... the brawl. Stupid fans, stupid Artest gave fuel to those who were already criticizing the NBA for glorifying the street thug image.

2) Red Sox win the Series. Yeah, that's just wrong. What's worse is that Doug Miengiathhjeaklz was able to get a ring for his few months on the bench. Way to go Dougie. Ride that pine into victory. Yanks in 2005.

Worst Election: No matter the outcome, Bush vs. Kerry was a choice between two evils. I didn't feel good about my choice between a religion-bound conservative or a flip-flopping socialist. Hmmmm. Is that the best we could come up with?

Worst wurst Target Center bratwurst, November 9th. Not hot enough.


Worst picture emailed to me (actually it was the best at the same time):


Yeah... that's just plain disturbing... but I can't stop looking at it!

Worst total disregard to "the rules"-- Lambeau Field's flying America's Flag at half-mast for Reggie White. C'mon... he's a FOOTBALL PLAYER!! Plus, the "rules" state that only the President or the Governor have the right to decree a half-mast flying of the flag. Put the flag back up, please, before you embarrass your city any more (if that were possible).

Worst defense-- Minnesota Vikings. How many yards would you like this play, sirs? 14? Okay... here ya go. I have grown too tired of watching this pathetic team to even root for their chances on making the playoffs. I am done with them until next year.

Worst concert performance-- Deicide. C'mon Glenn Benton... either retire or find some energy! I waited through a bunch of mediocre death metal opening bands (except Necromis) to see YOU... and you give me less than 45 minutes of that? Deicide epitomized "mailing it in" that night. Oh well, at least I got to see Necromis... plus I got to see the guy from Jungle Rot kick some fan in the head.

Alright, that's enough. I don't like concentrating on all this negativity. Have a safe and merry New Year.

How to Listen to RUSH with a Person Who Hates RUSH

It's hard to have RUSH as your favorite band. For one, it seems that no one can get past Geddy Lee's voice ("who is that chick and why is she screeching like that?" "I like their music, but man, I can't stand the singing") For two, their few mediocre songs (Tom Sawyer, Closer to the Heart) are the ones that actually get airplay... so the popular judgments are based on songs that don't really capture the true essence of Rush. This is sad since Rush--beyond the questionable taste in vocals--has recorded some of the best MUSIC over the past 30 years. Some stuff is just so interesting that it HAS to be shared with friends... but just try to put in a Rush CD with one of these people in your car. Not going to happen... unless...

Here's what you need:

-A computer with a CD Burner and burning software (use Nero's newest program with the NORMALIZING option--so all songs have the same volume).

-A Wave-Editing program. I use the one found here:
http://www.nch.com.au/wavepad/index.html

-The following RUSH CD's: 2112, A Farewell to Kings, Hemispheres, Permanent Waves, Moving Pictures, Roll the Bones, and Counterparts if you do not own these... what's wrong with you?

HERE'S WHAT YOU DO:

Grab your 2112, Farewell to Kings, and Hemispheres CD's. Each of these CD's contain signature, epic songs with instrumental overtures--meaning you can get a good 4 minute instrumental on your mix by cutting out the portions with singing. So, on 2112 cut out everything after "And the meek shall inherit the Earth." On Cygnus X-1, cut out everything after the final instrumental BUMP BUMP BUMP--right before it kicks into the portion with singing. It's easy to spot with the Wave Editor--just look for the major valleys next to the peaks. Do the same with Hemispheres. Save each file as MP-3's and you're ready to burn!

Open up your burning program and make this playlist:

1) 2112 (edit)
2) Cygnus X-1 (edit)
3) Cygnus X-1 pt. 2: Hemispheres (edit)
4) La Villa Strangiatto
5) Jacobs Ladder
6) YYZ
7) Where's My Thing?
8) Leave That Thing Alone!
9) Xanadu

Burn it and there! You have a Rush mix with very little singing. I listened to it today and I loved it. The first 4 songs sound great together... as if they were released all at the same time as one epic album. Jacobs Ladder provides a bridge to the 80's Rush that you either loved or hated. YYZ introduces some of the synth-based songs that they dabbled with during the 80's while Where's My Thing epitomizes that synth-sound with a nice groove. Leave That Thing Alone serves as a reminder that Rush eventually did ditch the synths for a more basic rock sound during the 90's. I put in Xanadu to end the mix since it is such a wonderful song (one of the best, actually)--but there is a lot of singing on it. Hopefully your road trip companion will be so into the Rush mix that he'll let it slide (if not, who cares--it's the last song)... and maybe he'll let you throw in Power Windows afterwards--but maybe that's pushing it.

My Dad... 10/29/50 -12/18/01

My dad fought his cancer with so much bravery and with so little complaining, it was easy to think that he would win the battle. Regardless if you call it hope or denial, I really thought that he would be okay for the first year of the battle--despite how rare and nasty his sarcoma was. Besides, I was only in my 20's... I couldn't lose my dad yet!

Anyway, I took my dad out in the bass boat late one summer. We were done fishing, so I headed the boat back to the boat launch. My dad stopped me and asked if I would take one last lap around the lake. This was the first time I realized that even my dad knew his cancer would end up winning the fight.

I ended up giving my dad his last rides in the boat and in his Corvette... but I take "one more ride" with him each time I pass the lakes or the roads we cruised.

For more info on Sarcoma: http://www.reininsarcoma.org/SarcomaInfo2003Detail.html

BEST OF 2004

Here's MY list of the best junk that I enjoyed this year. Be sure to comment on your fav's... epecially if you disagree. WORST of 2004 soon to follow!

• BEST CD--Has Been-- William Shatner

Hell no, it's not just a novelty! With Ben Folds serving as music director, the expected campiness of Transformed Man is replaced by a real, legitimate project. Shatner delivers every line with absolute sincerity over Fold's jazz/lounge piano scores. It's a real treat--and should not be overlooked because of the well-deserved cheezy reputation of Shatner. There's real good music here, people! Lyrically, Has Been is punchy, funny, sad, introspective, and tongue-in-cheek all at once. Buy it now.

CLOSE SECOND: Blood Duster--Blood Duster

runners-up-- The System Has Failed--Megadeth, Cool To Be You--Descendents, Romances--Patton and Kaada, Musicology--Prince, BURNSCAR--Necromis

• BEST MUSICAL COMEBACK-- MEGADETH

Waaayyy back in the day, Dave Mustaine was my guitar hero. I had posters all over my wall to prove it. Then Countdown to Extinction happened.... and what a piece of crap that was. I still listened to the old stuff, but Megadeth has been dead (or is it "ded?") to me for a decade. I sampled the 2004 release, The System Has Failed, on a MP3 website and I was impressed enough to give Dave Mustaine another $15 of my hard earned money. Bringing old-schooler guitarist Chris Polland back to the band was the first indication that Dave wanted to start fresh and return to the thrash-metal that was sooo good back in the day. It's a solid CD that is much appreciated in this era of Nu-Metal. Go Dave! I knew you still had it in ya!

runners-up--Descendents, Prince

• BEST SPORTS MOMENT-- KG proves his MVP-ness

Yeah, I am a biased homer Minnesotan, but hey... KG is the man--he has been for years. Finally, he is recognized nationally as the BEST NBA player on Earth. Duncan, O'Neal, and Bryant are all solid, but NO ONE puts out the daily effort like KG.... and it was wonderful seeing Garnett raise that trophy. It should also be noted that it would be a waste of the MVP award if the Wolves were another one-and-done playoff team. KG's clutch performances against Denver and Sacramento helped the Wolves finally get the first round curse off their backs.

runners-up-- Tracy McGrady gets 13 pts. in 35 seconds, Lance Armstrong wins another Tour, I guess I have to mention the Red Sox winning the world series... but I hate the Red Sox... so forget it!

• BEST DESSERT-- Crepe at Beaumond (in Philly)

mmmmmmm! Beaumond specializes in crepes--for an entree or dessert--but I only had the opportunity to eat the dessert. Let me tell you... wow.... they are spectacular! You can choose from a TON of toppings to drizzle all over the perfectly-made crepe. I chose the hazelnut/Nutella/banana combo. Best... dessert... ever!

Runners-up-- Pies at Thanksgiving (graham cracker, pecan, pumpkin, apple)

• BEST FOOD MOMENT-- My first Philly Cheese Steak

To complete my Philadelphia vacation, it was mandatory to consume at least one authentic Cheese Steak. Our local friends decided to take us to JOHN'S restaurant (you can comment below to support your local favorite, but we decided to eat at John's for their nice outdoor dining. It seems to be a heated argument on whose cheese steak is the best, but John's was pretty damn good). Anyway, I have been enjoying cheese steaks in Minnesota for quite a while--but getting one in Philly was soooo rewarding. It's like looking at a print of the Mona Lisa all your life--then finally going to France to see it in person.

runners-up-- Stillwater gets a WHITE CASTLE, eating old-school crispy chips 'n' salsa at a Colorado Chili's (Minnesota Chili's have changed their chips), Stillwater gets a Chipotle.

• BEST MOVIE I SAW IN THE THEATER-- Harry Potter III

Harry Potter III was a decent movie. BUT, it was the ONLY movie I saw in the theater this year, so CONGRATS, Harry!

• BEST MOVIE TRAILER-- Revenge of the Sith

duh.

• BEST OF 2004 that didn't come out in 2004, but I discovered 'em this year...

BOOK: Ghost Rider--Neil Peart

Great book, especially if you have dealt with a loss of a friend or family. Also read The Masked Rider by Peart.

BAND: Moist Boyz

My favorite discovery of the year, but they are a few years old now. Great classic rock meets thrash meets southern twang. Wonderful if you're into this stuff.

BRUNCH: Yarusso's

I am a 3rd generation Yarusso's patron (my grandparents dined there when they were kids), so I am quite familiar with their wonderful home-cookin' Italian menu... but this was the first year that I was able to enjoy their brunch. Yummy Italian food, great variety, good price. If you are in the St. Paul, MN area, check out Yarusso's and eat some Pasta Supreme or the Hot Dago Supreme. Go. Now.

This pisses me off...

Marcel Duchamp's "Fountain" (1917) was recently declared the most influential work of modern art according to a Gordon's Gin survey. Uh... yeah. I can see that.

"Fountain" is influential because it helped start the anything-goes definition of art. Today's art museums will display anything--a shapeless swirl of colors, a slab of uncut stone, random geometric shapes on canvas, or apparently--a urinal. A modern definition of art is, well, whatever the artist's whim decides. What is most dangerous, though, is that the modernists who are taken the most seriously today are actually producing anti-art--or art that is destructive to art itself. Observe that Duchamp could have chosen any household item to exhibit his art-is-what-I-say-it-is movement--but he chose a urinal. If Duchamp's intention was truly as benevolent as he claimed--to show that art can be found in everyday objects--why not display an everyday object that is beautiful? The choice of a urinal shows the true nature behind Duchamp's statement. A urinal is disgusting, offensive. To choose a urinal was the equivalent of a middle finger saying, "F-you, art, display this."

It is one thing to convey a dream-like quality like a surrealist, or to experiment with shapes like an abstract artist, but Duchamp not only blurred the essential artistic elements--he removed them with destructive intent... and thus we have Dada. Dada is defined by Webster as "a movement in art and literature based on deliberate irrationality and negation of traditional artistic values." Sounds accurate to me, but the definition doesn't capture the evil behind the movement.

Dadaism goes well beyond showing contempt for art--it shows contempt for the rational mind. Art is man's way of bringing abstractions into reality. We can easily deal with the concept of "chair" because it can be shown. I can also show non-concrete concepts such as "tall" and "transparent" by pointing to a tree and a pane of glass. How would I show the abstract concepts of "beauty," "resilience," "pride," or "happiness?" I would do it with art. I cannot point to "heroic," but I can point to Michelangelo's David. I can't show you "tension" and "suspense," but I can play you John Williams' theme from Jaws. I may find it hard to cope with a sudden sadness, but watching Steel Magnolias might help.

What does Dadaism offer to the rational mind? If art offers man the ability to see a physical representation of previously invisible concept--what would anti-art offer? If art is essential for man's understanding/coping/enjoyment of reality--what good can come from an "art" purposely devoid of the artistic elements? The answer is nothing (that's what nihilism offers us... nothing).

Sure, "Fountain" served a purpose--and I say that we help it fully reach its potential. Let's plumb the thing and use it for what it's best suited to be. I'll be first in line to use it.

a nice gallery of good art I found online